Promised Poems...Enjoy

I prayed for a light,

God gave me the moon,

That shines just as bright

As your eyes do at noon.

I prayed for great wealth,

God gave me the gold,

That gleams from your hair

In the snow fall and cold.

I prayed for beauty,

And God gave me you,

That no earthly thing

Could ever compare to.

Our love is like a fairy tale,

As Perfect and Serene,

If evil armies do prevail,

You will remain my Queen.

I will be your protective knight,

From all the evil things,

I will love you with all my might,

For with you my heart sings.

Cinderella cannot compare,

To you in any way,

I love your brown eyes and gold hair,

I love you night and day.

Unicorns and all the rainbows,

Have not seen a color,

That can compare, God only knows,

My love as no other.

My love floats, just like a feather,

Without any master,

We’ll live happily together,

And Forever After.

More to come on Valentines Day!

Refocus...Being Bi-polar

I'm sitting in Chemistry right now realizing how much I hate engineering (sorry Jon). I'm wondering why I ever wanted to be an engineer and I think of the money. I am doing my budget to see what I need if I were to live on my own and I found that I can live off of what I make now and still have money to spend on the things I want. So why then do I want the money that is so associated with engineers. Because it's not enough. The flesh side of me wants to never have to worry about money, to always have everything I want, and that by achieving these things I'll aways be happy. The spiritual side of me wants to trust God in his plan (but first discovering what that plan is), never rely on my own means to survive, and serve him with out a lust for 'things'. Every Christian must have this bi-polar reaction to wanting what they don't have. I wish I had the guts and the knowledge to move into the woods with a tent and some tools and live for the rest of my life only going to town to buy clothes and more tools. This life is so full of unnecessary things that we don't need. Why do we need (not want) plasma screen TV's, 3 story houses for 4 people, one car for the summer and one for the winter, cell phones that play music and show pictures, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, shampoo that makes your hair curly or straight, cloning research, abortion, wars against people we don't even know, and cars that park themselves (I'm sorry but that has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard of). I will never be able to understand this world or God's purpose for granting us free will until I am able to look at it from his view.

Why...Cooper's Psalms

Why is everything so blurry
Almost invisible
Why am I in such a hurry
To achieve things so slow.

Why have you planned
What is not yet revealed
Why do I long to be informed
On things that are concealed

Why are these spiritual things
So difficult to grasp
Why can't we find the wings
To put things in the past

Why are they who I knew so well
Now so far away
Kept inside their perishing shell
Oh, the things I want to say

Why do I strive to love them more
Yet never see the time
I pray you'll never close the door
Make a forgiving heart of mine

To be loved, love
To be forgiven, forgive
To be a friend, befriend

Scary Movies...What a Rush

I don't know why I like scary movies. No one likes to be scared, caught off guard, or be paranoid but for some odd reason I enjoy it. I compare it to a drug I guess, though I have never been high, drunk, or intoxicated by anything other than morphine. When you are drunk (or high for this matter) you cannot control yourself, you vomit, and you don't remember any of the embarrassing things that will happen, things any normal conscious person would rather not have happen to them. This normally goes the same with other feelings that are unpleasant. Though there is always the person who actually likes these feelings (everyone at UK) and I seem to be one of those people when it comes to this. I blame Fox Mulder for raising me in this way, his passion for the unexplainable and supernatural has dwelled in me since I was little. Sneaking to get a peak of the X-files, that my parents wouldn't let me watch in fear that I would wake them in the middle of the night and want to sleep in their bed. Is this callous a bad thing though, or should I have some kind of fear towards the 'masks of Halloween express'?

I Always Feel Like...Somebody's Watchin' Me

Sorry if you’re not a Toby Mac fan then you probably didn’t get the title.  Anyways, have you ever just sat and watched people’s actions and judgments based on their facial expressions and body language?  I did today and it was really funny in a way.  On the infamous LexTran bus system there is usually a great number of people on the bus and everyone fights to sit down. Once seated and moving the bus goes silent except for the occasional friends that don’t care about peoples opinions of their crazy weekend of sinful enjoyment.  So today I sit next to this really oddly dressed guy.  Purple plaid pants, a black sports coat with patches and bumper stickers attached, and a pirate bandanna.  Not odd?  Re-evaluate.  As I turn to take a look around to see if I knew anyone on the bus, a sudden noise becomes present that was hidden by the rush before…. bagpipes.  This struck me as odd and yet again from the same guy.  

Just as I heard it and discovered the source this girl in front of me turns around and looks at him straight in the face, he (being the kind that cares not what anyone thinks right now) simply smiles and waves queerly at her.  She turns back around with a sigh and rolls her eyes with the intent of letting him know she was annoyed… he couldn’t hear her.  

Moments later the girl sitting next to this girl (bear with me) gets up and walks/jogs off the bus as if skipping to a Barney song.  I laugh inside, but the girl in front of me looks at her with a sigh and rolls her eyes with the intent of letting her know she was annoyed… she couldn’t see her.  

The thing that interested me about this girl is the fact that I see her every morning, with a friend and her coffee mug so happy and joyful.  She is the loudest and most obnoxious person on the bus.  Not to mention it is 8:30am.  Her and her friend may not get a seat together but they will still carry on a conversation about what ever they feel like talking about or just make noises back and forth to each other followed by laughs as if speaking in code.  

Are you ever conscious that the things that you do are the same things that annoy you about other people?

To Whom it May Concern...Long Time No See

So I haven't had time to write anything for...well whenever the last time I posted was. But something has been irritating me today that I need to write on 'the wall that no one reads'. A lot of my Christian friends that I don't see very much anymore have been making themselves very distant from me and others but blame others for this distance. When people are talking to me, I try to give them my full attention and a sincere response rather than half-heartedly listening to them until they shut up and then apologize to my 'better' friends for the time I lost with them while listening to just another fellow Christians.

I think life at PMBC has just started do get back to normal a few soldiers smaller than before, but when at war you always lose a few. Some I am glad are gone, some I want to see really bad, and some I am waiting on. I had friends that left for their reasons (good or bad, I don’t know so it doesn’t matter) and I am now wishing them good luck in whatever God has them and want to know what God has been doing in there lives. This urge was recently set off by flipping through the channels and seeing Dave leading worship and I just felt like I had missed out on what God has been doing. So if this is you, someone whom I haven’t talked to in a while, let me cut the distance and find out what’s going on in your life. If you want to say something privately Pacnac73@aol.com is always being checked and if not just leave a comment telling me how God is working in your life.