Walking With Jesus...Porter's 'The Passion of The Christ'

I recently had the honor to be in the church's Easter play. I was a dual-role actor, the blind man Barnabas, and a Roman guard. In other words Keith healed me and I was so grateful that I helped kill him(or as the Gospel of Judas would say 'Jesus told me to when he healed me'). The experience was very odd. I have never seen The Passion so I have never seen a graphic depiction of Jesus' death, but in being a guard I gained an appreciation that I had never had before. Jesus died for my sins, in other words my sins killed him(I killed Jesus), and in the I helped kill 'Jesus'. The carpet burns and cuts did absolutely no justice to the actual torment and pain our Lord went through on that day. This experience gave me an all new perspective of the death of Christ that will forever change my view of Easter. In order to attain this new perspective I have also been reading John McArthurs 'The Murder of Jesus'. It is a book that goes into further detail using all the gospels and prophesies involving Jesus' betrayal, trail, death, and resurrection. There is also some commentaries sections throughout. The section that is really getting to me is the scene in the garden. Jesus' praying was so intense it made him bleed from his pores. This was explained by a physical sickness common to stress and lack of sleep, but the commentaries I have read from many authors suggests the torment he was having was from the dreading of the physical pain and humiliation he would face the next day. Why would the God of all creation fear pain and humiliation? I think he is speaking of the wrath of God (the turning of his back on his Son) when he says 'this cup' not the atoning sacrifice he was about to provide.