Refocus...Being Bi-polar
I'm sitting in Chemistry right now realizing how much I hate engineering (sorry Jon). I'm wondering why I ever wanted to be an engineer and I think of the money. I am doing my budget to see what I need if I were to live on my own and I found that I can live off of what I make now and still have money to spend on the things I want. So why then do I want the money that is so associated with engineers. Because it's not enough. The flesh side of me wants to never have to worry about money, to always have everything I want, and that by achieving these things I'll aways be happy. The spiritual side of me wants to trust God in his plan (but first discovering what that plan is), never rely on my own means to survive, and serve him with out a lust for 'things'. Every Christian must have this bi-polar reaction to wanting what they don't have. I wish I had the guts and the knowledge to move into the woods with a tent and some tools and live for the rest of my life only going to town to buy clothes and more tools. This life is so full of unnecessary things that we don't need. Why do we need (not want) plasma screen TV's, 3 story houses for 4 people, one car for the summer and one for the winter, cell phones that play music and show pictures, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, shampoo that makes your hair curly or straight, cloning research, abortion, wars against people we don't even know, and cars that park themselves (I'm sorry but that has to be the stupidest thing I have ever heard of). I will never be able to understand this world or God's purpose for granting us free will until I am able to look at it from his view.
